Back in the Sam Hill of Beans

I am afraid I have been on more airplanes in the last few days than I like to be. It wasn't a record as far as the number of actual airplanes I have been in, but I certainly endured more airline hassles in the last eight days than I ever had in the previous eight years combined. The amazing thing was, that security has been an absolute breeze as though anticipating the airlines themselves would pick up the slack.

Anyway, during recent travels, one travel companion mentioned how much they hated mixed metaphors. You know what I mean: combining and misquoting little colloquialisms. For instance combining "on the tip of my tongue" and "at the top of my lungs" to come up with sentences like "It just rolled off the tip of my lungs." Anyway, this person's disdain for mixed metaphors was just too wonderful an opporunity to pass up. I came up with several and have heard more from others in the process. Here are some of my favorites. Work on some of your own. After all, it's not rocket surgery.

It's just spilt milk under the bridge.

That's grabbing the tiger by the horns.

Cry me a liver.

Keep your ear to the grindstone.

Don't beat a dead horse in the mouth.

I'm the one sticking my neck in a sling.

He's a little green behind the ears.

I've buttered my bed, I'll have to lay in it.

She was burning the oil at both ends.

And finally, my favorite...

It's time to fish or get off the pot.

Frankly, I am too tired to be very philosophical right now, so I thought levity was the better way to go. Besides, a spoonful of boogers makes the medicine go down.