Well we're movin' on up... or maybe not
Feedback here, in person, by phone and by email lead me to believe that the topic of my last post is something we think about a lot- never far away in our thoughts and, sadly, probably never resolved. We have also all probably heard or seen the statistics saying that financial problems are consistently the most common factor seen in issues of marital problems. The obvious question is this: If matters of finance are such a prevalent problem, why do we do so much more to make them worse than we do to correct them?
One obvious problem is our everlasting desire to “keep up with the Joneses.” In other words, we place a very high value on the image others have of us as it relates to what we have- not necessarily what we try to accomplish. We move into nicer homes simply because of the status it affords us rather than to satisfy a legitimate need. We go on vacations that impress others rather than truly to connect as families. We buy our kids the latest and most expensive shoes, the smallest iPods, or the most outlandish toys. How many times have you determined the amount you would spend on a Christmas present primarily on your knowledge of what someone else spent?
If we are to live our lives in such a way as to help each other and spur one another along to greater things, why do we surround ourselves with people against whom we feel an unrelenting need to compete? Is it really healthy to get so involved in such relationships that we engage in self-destructive behavior as well as behavior that endangers our families and sends harmful messages to our kids?
Consider too, that this is a two way street. If I am engaged in a constant struggle to keep up with the society around me, part of the problem may be me. If we did not surpass one another, the struggle would eventually cease. The goal would be achieved and having successfully scratched that itch we would move on to other things and seek healthier satisfaction rather that competing and wallowing in perpetual discontent in how conspicuous our materialism is. The harsh truth of the matter is that if you are struggling in relationships like this, you may be part of the problem, too.
I have identified this tendency in myself. It is a bit unsettling to acknowledge such a thing. I try to rationalize certain behaviors or purchases or in my case, even savings habits. But often rationalization is a somewhat pathetic effort to look at things in the attractive light of society’s flickering candle rather than cast in the sunshine’s blaze of what God hopes for us. Well, who gives a flying rip if how we use our resources is better than our neighbor when King of kings demands our complete allegiance? He is our bench mark, not those around us. Comparing ourselves to people is just an easy way to stroke our own ego.
We can always find someone who makes us look better. At the bank where I used to work the first repossession on record happened to be someone who is leader at a local church. How great is it to be compared with someone like that and come out ahead? The answer is, not all that great. We are all people. Comparing ourselves to one another, or trying to emulate one another or trying to impress one another is folly. Christ is the only one we should imitate or from whom we should seek favor.
Coming soon, how might we better encourage or assist one another in matters of finances?
One obvious problem is our everlasting desire to “keep up with the Joneses.” In other words, we place a very high value on the image others have of us as it relates to what we have- not necessarily what we try to accomplish. We move into nicer homes simply because of the status it affords us rather than to satisfy a legitimate need. We go on vacations that impress others rather than truly to connect as families. We buy our kids the latest and most expensive shoes, the smallest iPods, or the most outlandish toys. How many times have you determined the amount you would spend on a Christmas present primarily on your knowledge of what someone else spent?
If we are to live our lives in such a way as to help each other and spur one another along to greater things, why do we surround ourselves with people against whom we feel an unrelenting need to compete? Is it really healthy to get so involved in such relationships that we engage in self-destructive behavior as well as behavior that endangers our families and sends harmful messages to our kids?
Consider too, that this is a two way street. If I am engaged in a constant struggle to keep up with the society around me, part of the problem may be me. If we did not surpass one another, the struggle would eventually cease. The goal would be achieved and having successfully scratched that itch we would move on to other things and seek healthier satisfaction rather that competing and wallowing in perpetual discontent in how conspicuous our materialism is. The harsh truth of the matter is that if you are struggling in relationships like this, you may be part of the problem, too.
I have identified this tendency in myself. It is a bit unsettling to acknowledge such a thing. I try to rationalize certain behaviors or purchases or in my case, even savings habits. But often rationalization is a somewhat pathetic effort to look at things in the attractive light of society’s flickering candle rather than cast in the sunshine’s blaze of what God hopes for us. Well, who gives a flying rip if how we use our resources is better than our neighbor when King of kings demands our complete allegiance? He is our bench mark, not those around us. Comparing ourselves to people is just an easy way to stroke our own ego.
We can always find someone who makes us look better. At the bank where I used to work the first repossession on record happened to be someone who is leader at a local church. How great is it to be compared with someone like that and come out ahead? The answer is, not all that great. We are all people. Comparing ourselves to one another, or trying to emulate one another or trying to impress one another is folly. Christ is the only one we should imitate or from whom we should seek favor.
Coming soon, how might we better encourage or assist one another in matters of finances?
8 Comments:
and Christ never had a car or a home....
Val, I think that this is just the beginning of a huge discussion that encompasses the question-who are we as the church? These beginning steps should stretch us beyond what society thinks and move us onto what Christ wants....not only when it has to do with money but how we operate as a church. I think that this all tied together. Great thoughts here. Keep talking.
As long as we only have to acknowledge we have a problem I’m good with it. But the minute we actually have to live it, well that would be too hard.
wait a minute..did anyone have a car in the time of Christ?? :)
Val, I just feel like throwing a big ole glass of water over your head..remember..I think its my turn!
Okay..Sam is in 8th grade and really, he's like one of the only kids who doesn't have a cell phone and I think the only kid who doesn't have one of those nanu ipod thingys, and I think he is feeling a bit deprived....man, when did the Jones' kids get rich..?????
I thought I solved the Jones' problem by following one simple rule: Quit spending money you don't have to impress people you don't even like.
That worked until someone pointed out the whole "love your neighbor" thing. Now my struggle is not keeping up (who cares), but serving and loving the Jones'. That's difficult for me. I find I am increasingly prejudice against the rich.
"I find I am increasingly prejudice against the rich."
I feel that same way Stephen but I also realize to an outsider who has less, I might look like one of those who I am growing increasingly prejudice against. Even though I say "NO, I mean the really rich. Like people who vacation in Walt Disney World, live in gated communities, drive new cars and SUVs, those who throw lavish parties, and who can buy their kids anything they want or need at anytime with out even making a sent in their budget...that kind of rich. Then I also realize that those are some of my best friends.
I heard a great story about a 75 year old man last night. He is a multi-millionaire who has a small farm. He heard of a ministry that was needing another building to grow into. He just happened to have an extra house on this farm of his and he asked them if he paid to have it moved to their property would they want it. Of course they were thrilled. I don't think wealth is the problem. It's what we do with the wealth we've been given that is the sign of what's in our hearts. And yes, Max does have an ipod but no cell phone and no computer, tv or video games in his room! I admit I'm regretting the ipod. It is a great source for behavior modification however.
Your right Candy. Powerful things are just that, powerful. Not inherently good or bad. Three examples from my life come to mind: Money, Sex, and Accountability Goups:) All are powerful and can be used for good or evil.
My concern is not necessarily money as much as the ever widening gap between the haves and the have nots and my ability to turn a blind eye to it for so long.
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