That's Enough
Frankly, it would be a bit of a waste of time for me to pretend I haven’t been holding a lot of anger lately. Stress begins to do that to you. These forces around you keep pressing and pounding on you until before you realize it you’re just mad. Perhaps it is actually mutated frustration, but I got to a point where I just realized I always felt mad. It’s hard to let a good mad go. I’m so good at it. Give me a nice plant for my office and it will die before you get the thank you note (Just kidding. I don’t send thank you notes). But I can nurse a good mad or a grudge until it has grown healthy enough to be a vacation destination for guys named Jack.
I don’t think I’ve been mad at any one person. I mean sure, at times it has seemed like some of the people I was closest to distanced themselves from me just when I probably needed them most, but I honestly don’t think I was mad at them. It’s tough to have a friend going through a dark time so the easiest way to handle it is to back off. In almost every case, I’m cool with that. In fact, I probably prefer it if it means I would have to open up to someone otherwise. Who can adapt to that kind of weird and inconsistent logic?
I’m pretty sure I’m not mad at God either. I was discussing a lot of this with Him the other night and I think that I concluded that no matter what happens to me, other people have had it worse. The world is a rough place for so many people. Sure, I have lost family members to cancer, but there are people living in places on this planet at this very moment who have seen their entire families massacred or sadly, who may be about to. But getting mad at God about it only adds insult to the injury he feels as He grieves those situations as well. And in the final analysis, if all we have to thank Him for is the hope that overwhelms matters such as these- the hope that comes through the assurance of His salvation- I gotta say- that’s enough. It’s enough to get mad and still praise Him. It’s enough to know that even when we may feel the world has deserted us and even God seems conspicuously silent, He remains… and He remains faithful. It’s enough to know He hates the suffering on this earth enough to overcome it through suffering of His own.
That’s plenty, really.
That’s enough.
I don’t think I’ve been mad at any one person. I mean sure, at times it has seemed like some of the people I was closest to distanced themselves from me just when I probably needed them most, but I honestly don’t think I was mad at them. It’s tough to have a friend going through a dark time so the easiest way to handle it is to back off. In almost every case, I’m cool with that. In fact, I probably prefer it if it means I would have to open up to someone otherwise. Who can adapt to that kind of weird and inconsistent logic?
I’m pretty sure I’m not mad at God either. I was discussing a lot of this with Him the other night and I think that I concluded that no matter what happens to me, other people have had it worse. The world is a rough place for so many people. Sure, I have lost family members to cancer, but there are people living in places on this planet at this very moment who have seen their entire families massacred or sadly, who may be about to. But getting mad at God about it only adds insult to the injury he feels as He grieves those situations as well. And in the final analysis, if all we have to thank Him for is the hope that overwhelms matters such as these- the hope that comes through the assurance of His salvation- I gotta say- that’s enough. It’s enough to get mad and still praise Him. It’s enough to know that even when we may feel the world has deserted us and even God seems conspicuously silent, He remains… and He remains faithful. It’s enough to know He hates the suffering on this earth enough to overcome it through suffering of His own.
That’s plenty, really.
That’s enough.
2 Comments:
Val, thanks for being honest.
And yet will I praise Him.
I'm counting on it being enough. Good thoughts Val.
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