Critics

In the wake of Elvis' birthday observance this week, I heard someone reading a review of his first record. I do not remember it exactly, but they commented on his awful guitar playing and worse singing. They went on to say that he would soon be forgotten. Odds are, that few people know who wrote the review.

Here is a list of things said by critics followed by the name of their targets.

"With your voice, nobody is going to let you broadcast." CBS producer Don Hewitt of Barbara Walters

"Stiff, unappealing. You ain't got it, kid." Columbia producer Jerry Tokovsky of Harrison Ford

"You have a chip on your tooth, your Adam's apple sticks out too far, and you talk too slow." Universal exec of Clint Eastwood

"The girl doesn't have a special perception or feeling which will lift that book above the curiosity level." A publisher rejecting The Diary of Anne Frank

"The band's okay but, if I were you, I'd get rid of the singer with the tire-tread lips." A BBC radio producer of The Rolling Stones

"His ears are too big. He looks like an ape." Talent scout Darryl F. Zanuck of Clark Gable


In each of these cases the recipient of the poor critique was rejected but later went on to prove them wrong. We believe the Father of Lies when he points out all of our shortcomings, but then our manager steps in and proves him wrong simply by looking at us quizzically and saying, "Sorry, I just don't see it. I have a starring role for which I think this guy would be perfect." Then He handles our audition for the Producer and we look better than we ever dreamed we could. If you dwell on the lies, you'll miss the role of your Life.