Real Men of Genius

Today we salute you, Mr. Cannot Possibly Get the Tree to Stand Up Straight. Still under the intoxicating effects of Thanksgiving Butterball trichanosis, you decide it is time to set up the same Christmas Tree that has frustrated you each and every one of the previous six years. Determined to prove that seven is not, in fact, a lucky number you forge ahead in your task all the while feeling less and less thankful this Thanksgiving and increasingly naughty instead of nice in the face of the coming Christmas. Finally, in the desperate hope that no one in your home will need to breathe for the next four weeks, you feebly declare your delicately balanced task completed only to experience a total collapse of the structure when the neighbor across the street sneezes. So, march ahead over the broken glass of priceless family heirloom ornaments to your rightful place in holiday folklore Mr. Cannot Possibly Get the Tree to Stand Up Straight. And remember that no matter what happens, when it comes to your family tree, how lovely are your branches.