Would You Rather
I've had a recurring thought lately. I suppose it borrows somewhat from Craig Fisher's blog from several months ago where he was playing a little game I think he called "Would You Rather." Anyway, I was riding along with my 11 year-old the other day and we were chatting. To be honest I can't remember exactly what he said, but I remember thinking that I would have never shared whatever it was with my dad.
Frankly, it made me a little choked up and it got me to thinking. Would I rather have a kid who by all appearances is a model of good behavior or would I rather have one who is willing to talk to me about his life even if it means hearing some difficult stuff? Without question I would take the latter. The fact is, we are people and no matter how polished and perfect we appear we will stumble. If we think we cannot talk to anyone about that kind of stuff it is much more challenging to recover from a stumble. I want my son and daughters to feel they can tell us the kind of things that may make us cringe. In turn, I want to be able to accept and love them no matter what- just like our Father reacts to the crud in our lives.
So the question: Would you rather see model children or have a real relationship with them? I'm not sure it can be reduced to such simplicity, but if it can I'll obviously take the real relationship. And if I get too perturbed when they resist, it may serve well to remember that God is waiting for the same thing from me.
Frankly, it made me a little choked up and it got me to thinking. Would I rather have a kid who by all appearances is a model of good behavior or would I rather have one who is willing to talk to me about his life even if it means hearing some difficult stuff? Without question I would take the latter. The fact is, we are people and no matter how polished and perfect we appear we will stumble. If we think we cannot talk to anyone about that kind of stuff it is much more challenging to recover from a stumble. I want my son and daughters to feel they can tell us the kind of things that may make us cringe. In turn, I want to be able to accept and love them no matter what- just like our Father reacts to the crud in our lives.
So the question: Would you rather see model children or have a real relationship with them? I'm not sure it can be reduced to such simplicity, but if it can I'll obviously take the real relationship. And if I get too perturbed when they resist, it may serve well to remember that God is waiting for the same thing from me.
3 Comments:
I really don’t have a choice, my children are perfect.
unlike Clint, my children are not so perfect. I made many, many mistakes but I always believed in them and always let them feel comfortable coming to me with anything. Sometimes I admit I want to just say...please don't tell me that...but truly I am glad they feel safe and comfortable coming to me.
Now they have kids of their own and are both pretty good people. Maybe I didn't scar them for life!
Oh, I want perfectly-behaved children; no question.
I've already got two who feel free to say what's on their minds (or at least on their tongues) to me any time of day or night, with our without others around, in private or in public, appropriate or not ....
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