My apologies to Andy Rooney, but do you ever wonder…? Do you ever just ask hypothetical “what if” questions? Do you ever ask some “what if” questions that may not actually be hypothetical? Do you wonder if this question is itself hypothetical therby putting whoever reads it in danger of some vicious loop? I do.

I presented one such “what if” scenario to the guys in my accountability group recently. It may perhaps be more than hypothetical and instead be quite possible or even likely. I do not pretend to know, but I think my notion that it is even a remote possibility might be decidedly unpopular; at least it was to the guys.

What follows may very well be a failed attempt to articulate an idea that quite possibly exists only in my own mind. Sadly, ideas in my head rarely translate to a train of thought that others may easily follow. As a result, these views may sound more controversial than they actually are at their root. But any time emotionally charged issues are discussed, people often make assumptions about the views of another party or jump to conclusions that neither party in the discussion may actually hold.

First, let me present to you the lyrics of a song by Steven Curtis Chapman.

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most:
“I just don’t know.”
And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
‘Til I stand here on this stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall
Oh, but fall I must on the truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of the picture he’s painting
God is God and I am man
And I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the skies begin to thunder
And I’m filled with awe and wonder
And the only burning question that remains
Is “Who am I?”
Can I form a single mountain?
Take the stars in hand and count them?
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me?
He is first and last
Before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
And I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God.

Oh, how great are the riches
Of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable
For to Him and through Him and from Him are all things
So let us worship before the throne of the One who is worthy of worship alone

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of the picture he’s painting
God is God and I am man
And I’ll never understand it all
‘Cause only God is God
Only God is God

- God is God

I am a big Steven Curtis Chapman fan because I think his lyrics are truly thoughtful. In this particular song, he introduces us to the idea that the Wisdom of the Ages may actually have a better understanding of the universe than we do. It’s a stretch, maybe, but I can almost see myself buying into that notion someday. Doing so might yield a certain peace of mind in light of events that we witness in this world, but I do not believe that these views are merely a coping mechanism. I believe that these thoughts are not necessarily inconsistent with scripture and a strong faith. Do not misunderstand. I am not saying they are exclusively consistent with these standards because other views also stand firmly when held in the same light. Sadly, many things appear to.

First, let me tell you what I believe. I believe that God created the universe and everything in it. I believe that he is a loving God who wants great things for us- most importantly that we can have eternal life with him. I believe that Jesus is God’s son and that He became a man just like any of us but completely infallible. I believe the fact that He was a mere man is a critical point to God’s plan. I believe that God’s plan is an effort to reconcile a fallen world to Him because He loves us. I believe this love is manifested in many ways. First, He sent His Son to this world. Most importantly, He overcame the sin and lies of this world by sacrificing His son through a cruel death. In doing so, He gave us a hope and a promise that points beyond this world. Until that promise is actually brought to fruition I strongly believe- I know- that God loves us and that He cares for us; grieving when we grieve, rejoicing when we rejoice and leaving His Spirit here until our work on earth is done. That “work” is to carry on the example of love set by Christ while he was here on earth as a man.

All of that sounds pretty simple, and on one level, it really is. Those are basic tenants of belief that I cling to. But even in the midst of these basic beliefs- or basic truths, if you will- life can get complicated. Things happen in our lives that we cannot explain or in some cases even accept. And we wonder how, in light of these things we tell ourselves are basic truths, can the two co-exist. Not even two weeks ago an old college roommate of mine lost his wife and three young sons in a traffic disaster. Yet we bask in the glow of a loving God. Don’t we? I lost both my mother and sister to cancer while they were in their 30’s. But what about basking in the glow of a loving God? Children suffer horrible pain and disease. Wars explode around the world. People want to kill other people just because of where they are from. Planes fly into towers. Abusive relationships are everywhere. Suffering is rampant. But what about the warm glow of that loving God?

Several years ago when I was a banker I was in Atlanta for a conference. It was one of those trips that I was not enjoying. For some reason, one of the co-owners of our bank had decided it would be a good opportunity for his son to start learning the family business and he sent him with me. Essentially, I found myself serving as a baby-sitter to someone who should have been one of my peers. He had checked some rifles through to Atlanta because he was leaving immediately from there to go on a hunting trip but they had not arrived so I waited at the airport trying to find them between screams at the airline personnel. Giving up on that endeavor, we finally checked into the conference late. Less than ten minutes into the first class he disappeared only to be found later at the hotel bar which he used as merely a warm-up. In short, I was not having a good time and I was ready to go home. Then came the phone call from my secretary.

“Val, Nikki and Matthew were killed last night and Sue wants you to be here and to sing at the funeral.”

I numbly hung up the phone. Sue was one of my colleagues at the bank. Her daughter Nikki came into the bank frequently with her young son and we had all gotten to be good friends. But now Nikki, in her late twenties, and Matthew, age four, were gone. I flew back to Abilene and helped Sue work through some things and met with Nikki’s pastor. The funeral was as sad an affair as you might expect when you see a full-size and child-size coffins next to each other. I sang of hope and deliverance and the crowd got up to leave. Another co-worker from the bank, Nancy, asked for a ride back to office. I obliged and we got in the truck. Nancy was and is a strong, quiet, no-nonsense, tough-as-nails woman who reveled in the idea that she had the reputation as a “ball-buster.” She had become the CFO of our organization and ruled her domain with an iron fist and no apologies for her tough manner. In light of all this, I was surprised when she spoke.

“Do you believe all that sh**?” she asked softly.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“All that stuff you sang and the stuff the preacher said. Do you really think stuff like this would happen if any of it were true?”

“I guess you’re not buying it,” I said.

“Nope,” she said. “I am the only one looking out for me and that’s just the way it is for everyone.”

“Pretty hopeless outlook.”

“It’s just reality based on logic,” she said, nailing me with an argument I would normally use. It took me a moment to recover- that is, in the sense that I am still living in the moment. Still, I tried to respond.

“Well, using your logic, what is the point of anything? I mean, living itself is terminal. You’re dying right now and so am I. When it happens to someone we think of as young and vibrant it really stings but it still happens to everyone sooner or later. I just happen to believe that God has a way of healing all of that.”

I don’t pretend to understand God. To do so could be dangerous. I mean, if Moses could only look at His back as He walked away, what does that say about seeing His face? And how, then, would that extend to understanding His thoughts? Nevertheless, there are some things He has revealed to us. We know that He wants to reconcile us to Him. He wants us to give Him glory and it is for this that we were created. These two thing will come to fruition in eternity. In light of this, when we ask God for things to improve our lives here on earth, could it be that we are missing the point? If we think of God merely as a Santa Clause personality, are we only seeking to get from Him rather than give to Him? If we only pursue this relationship with Him to get what we can out of it, are we filling the role of mere vampire Christians (as Brian McLaren would say) wanting Christ only for His blood and seeking no other relationship beyond that?

What if God wants us to be people of “free will?” What if, beyond that, He does not involve Himself in changing matters of this earth but instead in offering their solution, their salve, their balm? What if He meant it when He said “In this world you will have trouble?” Why did He say He had overcome the world instead of saying He would fix the problems of it? What if Satan goes around like a roaring lion to kill and destroy but God wants us to rely on Him anyway and look beyond those things?

What if God set the laws of nature in motion and rather than serve as puppet master He serves as a counselor by sending His Spirit, pointing us instead to an existence that is not just a vapor? Could it be that the purpose of the Spirit is to guide our hearts and souls instead of performing otherwise visible miracles?

“Outrage! Blaphemer! You are trying to say God has no power to work in this world,” some might say. I am not at all suggesting God does not have the power to perform miraculous changes in our world. But why, with His heavenly perspective, would He want to? It’s almost as silly as the old notion of whether or not God can create a rock so big that even He could not lift it. What is the point? The point is not for God to prove His power in this world, but rather His power over it; even beyond it.

The simple fact is our logic cannot be applied to situations because we are mere humans. He has revealed to us what we need to draw near Him and He desperately wants us to do so and to help others do the same. After all, when we apply our own logic, we look at situations like Matthew 4 and say “God, you could’ve thrown yourself off the temple and really shown your power.” Meanwhile Christ often showed His power only to insist on confidentiality.

Where am I going with all this? I don’t honestly know. Do I still pray when people are sick for their healing? Sometimes I do- perhaps hedging my bets. More often, I pray for their peace, comfort and assurance. Still, I think that God’s emphasis on the eternal are not accidental-even as we concentrate on the temporal. I do not pretend to have an understanding of it all, but I rely on the One who does.

Here is how it was put by a friend of mine, Don Bowen, said shortly before His death:

“God is in control. I believe that with all my heart. I know that God can do any miracle He desires. I know that if it is God’s plan, He can heal me. But I want you to understand that I also know this: my physical well-being is not a test for God; it is not a test of God’s mercy; it is not a test for the faithfulness of this church; it is not a test for the power of your prayers; because God has healed me.

We know how this comes out.

That is the beauty of all of this. We have no confusion about how all this comes out. We see a lot of the power Satan in the world, but we know that the battle has been won by God. It is not a negotiated peace; it is over. God won. Whatever God’s plan for my physical health, I pray that my family’s faith will remain strong and that this church’s faith will remain strong.”

Then he blessed all those present by saying:

“May the spirit of Christ be renewed in each of us. May the saltiness of our tears wash away our doubts and all our fears. May we claim quiet strength in suffering. May we never, never lose our faith in You. May each heart here be filled to overflowing with God’s hope. May our united voices proclaim your healing love for each of our souls, no matter what happens. May we say to each other and the world around us, ‘God will take care of us.’”

Amazing testimony.

So, after all this, am I any closer to proving anything. Nope. I am not sure Christ was about proving right or wrong anyway. Am I any closer to understanding how we should pray? Well, not really. Christ's example says more on that than I could (very Spirit filled). Do I know what it's all about?
No, except that I have concluded it isn't really the Hokey-Pokey. Should I keep searching? Well, at least that's a definitive "yes."