Thursday, October 07, 2004

What's it all about?

I like for my blog to be all over the map. While the last one was pretty serious, I feel this pull drawing me back to the ridiculous. So, speaking of the Hokey-Pokey (previous blog), the old H-P transcends traditional boundaries of class, race and even time. In light of that, how might different people put their "spin" on it? Perhaps...

Shakespeare

O proud left foot, that ventures quick within.
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Pokey,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heaven's yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely thou canst go, Girl.
The Hoke, the Poke -- banish now thy doubt.
Verily, I say, 'tis that on which the world doth spin.

A Redneck

Stick in them piggies
Sooooeee!! Come on back, pigs!
Stick yer piggies back over there.
Git 'er done and shake yer bacon!
Commence to Hokeyin' and Pokeyin' and do a donut better 'n' old number 3 (God rest 'im)
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

John Kerry

You put your left- no wait, right foot. Well, maybe it is the left. Actually, it may be my perogative to put both feet in it, so to speak. Wait, it couldn't be the right foot. That one was shot off in Vietnam. Want to see one of my Purple Hearts? Actually, I think I may just hire someone to shake it all about. No. Well? Hmm...

Paris Hilton

Umm. Like, which one is my left?

Snoop Dogg

Yo. It's the Hizzle Pizizzle, Know what I'm sayin'? Put in the lizzle fizzle.
("Excuse me Mr. Dogg. Fizzle is a real word."
No shizzle?")

Johnny Cochran

If it's the wrong foot, you must not put!

The Hamburglar

Robble Robble Robble
Robble Robble Robble
Robble Robble Robble
Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble
Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble
Robble Robble!

Floyd the Barber

Oooh. The left foot, ya say?
That's gr- You know my mother used to say I had two left feet.
Did I ever tell you about my mother?
She used to make the best gooseberry pie!
Ha-ha! What if you stuck your foot in a pie?

John Madden

So anyway, he runs around this side over here and BOOM! He sticks his left foot in there. Sure that's good coaching, but if you ask me he just may be better at that than anybody in the NFL. And after that he shakes it all about over here like you can see on the telestrator. And then over here and then BAM!!; again over here!

Mary Katherine Gallagher

Sometimes I like to stick my left foot in and then I- (ssssnifffff) I smell it like this.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Put your left foot in there and hold... Keep holding girlie man! Feel the burn! Keep holding! Don't stop!!!

Frodo

I can't take another step, Sam. My burden is too great. I must stop. I am going to fail. Why, oh why did I think I could ever see this quest through to it's completion? I cannot even raise my left foot.

Dr. Phil

All I'm sayin' is that your duty to yourself, to your family and to your friends is to stick you left foot in. I don't wanna hear none o' this nonsense or excuses about why you can't or shouldn't. You just need to belly up to the bar and do it. Then once y'all have accomplished that goal that you set for yourself you need to stick that left foot back out there again. The key, then, is to persevere and not give up and to shake it all about. Once you have reached within yourself and found that strength deep inside you that allows you to reach this level of performance, y'all can then reward yourself. That's right. Reward yourself. Y'all have done a great job with the Hokey-Pokey, so turn yourself around. The whole darn deal is just so pivotal.

Austin Powers

Are you ready, baby?! Then stick your left foot in, Baby! Yeah! It's lovely foot, too if you don't mind me offering my two pence worth. Rowr! What were we talking about?

That's the kind of stuff you come up with when you're home sick like I am today. Gotta keep my idiot skills honed in case I ever want to go into politics.

Any others?

12 Comments:

Blogger Brandon Scott Thomas said...

actually, it's really sad--the guy who wrote the Hokey Pokey died this year. It was a special moment for the family--being together after years of separation. However, the trouble came when they placed his left foot in the casket. It was down hill from there.

Thursday, October 07, 2004 1:16:00 PM  
Blogger Donna G said...

If my brain was not fried tonight, I would write Elmer Fudd's Hokey Pokey....maybe later, but my favorites

#1- Redneck (Gotta mention Big E)
#2-

Thursday, October 07, 2004 7:21:00 PM  
Blogger Donna G said...

If my brain was not fried tonight, I would write Elmer Fudd's Hokey Pokey....maybe later, but my favorites

#1- Redneck (Gotta mention Big E)
#2-

Thursday, October 07, 2004 7:21:00 PM  
Blogger Donna G said...

Stupid Blog Spot....

#2 Kerry (how sick I am of hearing about purple hearts!)

But its all good, maybe you should disclose your medicine of choice....

Thursday, October 07, 2004 7:22:00 PM  
Blogger Val said...

I posted a blog a month or two ago that probably reveals my medicine of choice called "Politico or Politicoo-coo." Add to those thoughts the fact that I would vote for a purple monkey if I knew he (or she) could deliver term limits and a line-item veto, I come down as the lone member of the purple monkey party. If there is still any doubt, let me know and I will proudly tell you my medicine (or at least the generic equivalent).

Thursday, October 07, 2004 8:34:00 PM  
Blogger SG said...

Rolling on the floor reading this! Read it to Rob..he laughed to. "Did they offer classes on sarcasm and hilarity at ACU?" he asked. "Hilarity?" I ask.

Thursday, October 07, 2004 10:07:00 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Oh Val...kind of sad, but that's the most I've laughed in a long time. Other than at our 2nd graders. :)

Friday, October 08, 2004 12:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Val, Nino posting as anonymous...since i don't have an account. too funny! Especially the hamburglar's lyrics. I suppose a reader's digest joke can be adapted here. The ADD kid: You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, hey, let's go ride bikes. love you bro and enjoyed being with you at Zoe.

Monday, October 11, 2004 11:37:00 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

That was hilarious! And yet, still, so full of potential for more comedic value... I wonder if anyone else will give it a shot.

Monday, October 11, 2004 2:43:00 PM  
Blogger Mae said...

Dub-ya...

Well, my daddy's left foot got me here and that other man who "did his time (if you can call shooting people in the back time)" can't figure out which is his left or if he even has a left. I'll just put my "right time right place" in and call it a world vision that I am empowrin the US to do at the "right time, right place." ... or is it "lef time, left place?" Condeleeza, could you git me tha stats on that one, hokey?

Tuesday, October 12, 2004 8:42:00 AM  
Blogger D.J. Bulls said...

Ah Val...what would the world of blogging be with out you!!!

Thursday, October 14, 2004 12:59:00 PM  
Blogger D.J. Bulls said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Thursday, October 14, 2004 12:59:00 PM  

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