There. I said it. I have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow nor do I understand what went on yesterday or fully why today is like it is. The only explanation I have for the ignorance of these facts is that I am, in fact, stupid. (In other amazing news, the sky is blue, water is wet, sugar is sweet and women are confusing.)
There really is something blissfully comforting in accepting one's own stupidity. There is so much less pressure. Actually, this is not a new revelation for me. It hit me pretty early in life. My mother passed away on Christmas Eve of 1974. I had just turned five. In the course of that loss and others to follow people would ask why. Then, not content with their own questions, they would ask me about my questions and whether or not I wondered why. Upon being confronted, it occurred to me that I had not.
For some reason, early on I assumed the Wisdom of the Ages knew what was going on and that was enough. As I have grown, experience has not refuted that. It dovetails with the concept of free will and it compliments so many scriptures. "For I know the plans I have for you..." "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want..."
I remember being very young and thinking that after the suffering Jesus went through, expecting an easy ride for myself was rather audacious. Don't get me wrong. I hate that there has to be suffering. I sometimes even fall into the trap of thinking that I might have had a better approach. Further, I have still never endured suffering as it relates to my kids and I cannot imagine being able to handle that. Nevertheless, when in this world I do have trouble, I hope I fall back on the hope in the One who has overcome this world.
Benjamin Disraeli said "To be conscious that you are ignorant of the facts is a great step to knowledge."
Well, at least it's a start.
Stephen Curtis Chapman said, "The only burning question that remains is "Who am I?" Can I form a single mountain? Take the stars in hand and count them? Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me? He is First and Last. Before all that has been, beyond all that will pass. God is God and I am not. I can only see a part of the picture He's painting. God is God and I am man. Oh, I'll never understand it all, for only God is God."
Maybe there is hope for me, yet.